How does your dog or puppy let you know he/she wants to be left alone or just wants to say NO? My Dawson has his Leave-Me-Alone spot where he sits just behind a living room seat.
Although most of the time when I start walking down the hallway to the back room, he follows me to go right into his crate, there are the rare times when he wants to tell me that isn’t his choice at the moment. There are also times when he has something he doesn’t want me to touch. Or times when I want to do something else that he, in that moment, would rather not do.
That is when he runs to his Leave-Me-Alone spot.
And when he does, I do just that. I leave him alone.
His going to his spot is very clear communication that we’ve taught each other. I have learned to stop whatever it is I was asking him to do to give him space. He has learned he has control over his outcome without needing to escalate his feelings and behaviors. I consider that a very important piece of our relationship. I think that is only fair to him to be able to give him that opportunity, that control, to say No in a non-confrontational/non-aggressive way.
The beautiful thing about this kind of communication is that, often by stopping what I am doing or just leaving him alone, Dawson will choose to come back to me and even participate in what it was we were just doing.
I’ve been hearing a lot lately from people who tell me their dog or puppy will growl if they take their pet’s possession or try to forcibly get their dog to do something. However, think about it. None of us ‘like’ to do what we are forced to do. We wouldn’t like it if someone kept trying to take something we really valued. Dogs and puppies don’t appreciate it any more than we do. Being a totally different species, their communication is different from ours but they still try to communicate. If their more subtle communication goes unheard, they will need to increase the intensity or try another behavior to communicate better. And, if that elevated behavior works, then guess what? They will learn to do THAT behavior more often.
Additionally, there are times when a dog or puppy just needs space – from active kids, from a group of people, from anything. Giving your pet that ‘place’ where he/she can go and feel ‘safe’ is really important. Where ever that may be, everyone in your household should be taught to stay away during your pet’s Leave-Me-Alone time.
Think of it as your bubble bath time to get away from it all and just zen for awhile. Oh how wonderful! I think I hear my bath calling now!
Until next time…
