This post is in loving thoughts of my sweet, 36 year old, Maximilian pionus bird, Dreyfuss.
A little over a week ago, I was faced with the most difficult decision anyone who has shared their life with a pet will have to make. It was time to say goodbye.
Dreyfuss’ health had been declining for a while. Her vision had declined to the point that I was not certain how much she could see other than shadows. If I gave her a treat, she could not see it. She was unstable and when she climbed down her cage, she often fell. Sometimes she had involuntary twitching that looked like a seizure. Then she stopped eating the way she normally would.
She still enjoyed my holding her close and caressing her head and neck. I just had to be very careful about making sure to give her stability.
I thought I was ready for that day, but I was not. How can one ever be fully ready?
Her veterinarian, Dr. Bob Dahlhausen was so kind and gentle in talking with me and supporting me. I knew it would be a compassionate visit. And it was. Despite how difficult it was.
It is hard to believe I had her since she was just a few months old. I remember I was so worried about how Chester, my dearly loved Alexandrine Ringneck parakeet, would take to my bringing home another bird. So, I brought him with me to meet her.
A friend was raising Dreyfuss. She was in an enclosed baby container on the floor. Chester was a very social bird and his curiosity was peaked. When I placed him on the ground, I remember his waddling up to the container and raising his head to look down on her. I knew, that moment, that we would become family.
Although Barnaby is my Timneh African Grey, Dreyfuss is the one who learned my laugh. She would laugh when she was relaxing. I always thought that was so endearing. She used to sit on a perch attached to my refrigerator when I prepared food. Often, I’d hear a soft laughter coming from her direction. She hadn’t been able to do that in a few years as I was afraid she would lose her balance.
I had not heard my laugh from her in a very long time.
This is the part of sharing your life with a pet that is so very difficult. I know this is what had to happen. My dear Dreyfuss, we have shared so many wonderful years together.
Since then…
So much as changed since having to say good-bye to my sweet Dreyfuss last week. I get asked if Barnaby has grieved her loss. The truth is…no, not at all. They haven’t had direct contact with each other in years.
He has made an interesting adaptation. It was actually bringing Barnaby into my home 26 years ago that first started me down my path of studying Applied Behavior Analysis as it relates to animals. Just 3 months old, he thought the sound he was supposed to make was Chester (my Alexandrine Ringneck)’s scream…at a VERY high volume. I had to immediately come up with a behavior change plan, and that is what led me to meeting my first teacher/mentor in ABA – Dr. Susan Friedman. How fortunate I was (and am) that my path crossed with her so many years ago. Susan inspired my love for learning about behavior.
That is how I came to have a boy who is so prolific at speaking the English language.
Still, Barnaby would imitate his buddy sometimes. And also, Dreyfuss.
After Chester’s passing, Barnaby would sometimes speak Dreyfuss’ language instead of mine. She was, for the most part, a very quiet bird but occasionally let out this awful scream. I hated it.
When she screamed, if Barnaby wanted to communicate with her, he would scream back. If he wanted to communicate with me, he would say, ‘Barnaby’s a good boy.’
And sometimes Barnaby would just scream in Dreyfuss’ tone.
African Greys like to have conversations.
Well, since last Friday, I couldn’t help but notice. I have not heard one scream come out of Barnaby’s beak.
Not one.
He no longer has another bird to talk to.
What I have heard – a lot – is his talking to me in my language. It begins in the morning, when I hear his voice, “Wanna come out,” and continues off and on through the day.
And, of course, I talk back.
