Do you have trouble getting your dog to listen? I got a call the other day from a woman who, when she was talking about training problems with her dog told me she knows she needs to do a better job of being firmer with him. If you are someone with this same concern, I want to encourage you to re-phrase how you are thinking about training your dog. Instead of thinking, “I have to be firmer with my dog”, I encourage you to think, “How can I do a better job of being someone my dog will WANT to listen to?”
Let’s take a closer look at this.
When you talk about being firmer, you more than likely are talking about responding in a way that is aversive to your pet…or at least not very positive and welcoming. Have you ever been told in a very stern voice to do something by a parent, teacher, manager or significant other? That tone of voice alone probably made you tense, maybe even angry. Maybe your heart rate increased. You may have been predicting that ‘if’ you DID NOT do that something right away, that something bad would happen.
So…you did the something to AVOID whatever wrath you predicted would happen if you didn’t. But you didn’t feel good about it.
While you may get a behavior to happen by being ‘firmer’ with your learner, a question to ask yourself is, ‘but at what cost?’
You may find that your dog will begin avoiding you or at least avoiding you in certain contexts when he can predict you may be more likely to be ‘firm’. Your dog may shut down, show signs of stress, or even aggression.
More than likely you will not see your dog WANT to make the choice to do what you want him to do quickly and attentively.
That comes from teaching with clarity, choice and lots of positive reinforcement.
So, I have a challenge for you. If you think you need to be firmer with your dog, ask yourself instead, “How can I make changes to make the CHOICE of paying attention and doing wanted behaviors the most valuable choice for my pet?”
